Adopting Q & A
Most adults face the question from inquisitive relatives or friends regarding when, if ever, they intend to have children. Society expects that healthy adults propagate the species. It is Darwinism at its finest but some adults are faced with a conundrum when it comes to biologically reproducing a child from their own loins. For some it is a matter of whether or not they are able to have a child. Some may not wish to be in a relationship just for the sole opportunity of being a parent. Some are in a same-sex relationship and do not wish to give birth. Others may feel that there are far too many unloved children in the world and that they would be adding to this problem by ignoring the children already in the world in favor of giving birth to a child. Child adoption is a solution many adults are turning to when it comes time to have children. Recent tabloids have shown famous celebrities adopting children instead of procreating. Adoption is not an easy choice, nor is it an easy road to take but it is worth the journey. This is especially true if it saves a child’s life. In this article we will address some of the more common questions that arise concerning adoption.
What are some of the laws that I must know before adopting a child from a foreign country?
Laws regarding child adoption vary by country so this is a hard question to answer without listing every country’s adoption process. Some countries do not allow a foreigner to adopt a native. Some will only allow a child to be adopted by a married couple. You must hire an adoption agency or an attorney that specializes in foreign adoptions in order to know the full extent of the laws for each country. A note of caution: be very wary of any agency or attorney that guarantees a very short waiting time or demands higher than normal fees for the adoption. Illegal adoptions are very common practices where babies and children are the brokered commodity. The children are stolen from their parents and then sold on the black market to the highest bidder. Many parents do not realize this until the Federal government steps in and the child is taken back. Always do a thorough background search on the agency or attorney you are working with.
Should I be a foster parent before adopting?
If you are looking to adopt a child from a foreign country you will not have this option of fostering the child before deciding to adopt. In the United States there is a great shortage of foster parents and an overabundance of children in the foster system. Being a foster parent takes a special person because there will be special needs children placed in the home at times. Is it a good idea to try parenting out before adopting? Yes and no. Most first time parents do not have a “trial” run before having children so you do not need to test-run the parenting process before signing up to be a parent. Children in the foster system often come from broken homes where abuse may have run rampant. These circumstances can often cause psychological and physical damage to the child. The foster parent must be trained to deal with these issues.
What happens if the natural parent(s) later want the child back?
In a perfect world there would be no need for adoption because every child would have parents who loved them and were living. This is not a perfect world nor is it even close to being one. There have been cases where a child was put up for adoption, and even living with the adoptive parents for many years, when the biological parent(s) decide they want the child back. In instances where the biological mother signed her rights away and placed the child up for adoption citing that she did not know who the biological father was, only to have the father reappear at a later date demanding custody be turned over to him, the law has been forced to side with the biological father. This is a very real fear for parents looking to adopt from their home residence. Many adults feel that by adopting a child from a foreign country that the risk is considerably less of the biological family demanding the child be returned.
What are the laws for same sex couples who wish to adopt?
Same sex couples face many difficulties when choosing to adopt. They face not only the fact that many states do not recognize same sex unions but also have adoption laws barring same sex couples from adopting. The same laws often apply to same sex couples looking to adopt children from a foreign country. Many same sex couples elect to adopt a child by having one parent adopt and then later the second partner adopting that same child. It can seem confusing but is essentially the same as one partner giving birth and the other partner then adopting the child. States such as Utah and Florida have the toughest adoption laws for single and same sex couples.
What can I expect the expenses to be for adoption?
Adoption can be a very expensive process. The fees for attorneys can range from a $2,000 upwards of $50,000. If you are adopting from a foreign country there are additional fees charged by the government, adoption agency and other miscellaneous fees such as passports and airfare. In addition, many countries stipulate that the adoptive parents stay or visit their country a set amount of time before allowing the child to leave the borders.
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