What’s worse?
A friend has recently separated from her husband. He just wasn’t happy.
I thought, “well, he deserves to be happy and so does she. If he wasn’t happy then how happy could she have really been too??” I guess that that is the most popular point of view these days so it came to me easily.
Then another friend made the comment “but they have little kids! He shouldn’t have been so selfish. Marriage is forever and you make it work when you have kids - period”
That got me to thinking, “what’s worse or better? Seeing your parents be pleasant to each other as you grow up - but not in love and cuddly OR seeing your parents separated but in love with their new spouses???”
Funny, i’m not so sure anymore. I really think it would be tough to go back and forth to each house but then i think it’s also important to learn how to love and i think that that is a good thing to learn by seeing. It’s a toughy…
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I don’t know to be honest. And I come from a broken home. My parents needed to split up - bad bad marriage, but if someone just isn’t happy…Gosh, I just don’t know.
I know I wouldnt want to live my life unhappy, but keeping a home intact for the kids is important to me.
It would be tough either way I’m sure.
That really is a tough one and certainly is the topic of the moment isn’t it!
But you know I’m an old fashioned girl and believe that when you marry it’s forever. If you’re not happy there are lots of ways to try and work things out, before they get to that stage.
But I guess I have never been there so I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like.
I grew up thinking I had the perfect family, until I went off to college. My dad came up to visit me to tell me that he was leaving my mom…he wasn’t happy (Oh there were other reasons that came out later too…..) Shocked? yes but life goes on.
I did get married, intended on it being forever. However my husband (now ex) apparently didn’t feel the same way. I feel that I tried everything I could at the time to keep things together-for the sake of our two children, for the sake of marraige itself, for my own sake..could I survive on my own.
That was three years ago. He has moved on but still remains a very constant and loving part of our children’s life. We share custody 50/50. Yes it took some getting used to, for everyone. We live close to each other so school is not an issue. When the kids say anything about why they have to go to dad’s I tell them it is like sharing your favourite toy. You might not want to share but you want others to enjoy it too. Their dad is a great dad.
Should you stay together for the sake of the children? I would say definately not. Definately try EVERYTHING you can to work things out. But it does take two and if one partner is not willing or able, it will not work.
Do I wish my children had the two parent family I dreamed of? Of course I do. Life has a funny way of throwing stuff at you…you have to catch it and run or miss and let someone else pick it up.
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