…and check it a hundred and fifty seven times 
Hubby asked me tonight why I haven’t gotten the list written yet… says HE is starting to get nervous. I said (yes, i WAS feeling crabby by the way) “Why on earth would YOU be nervous? I do all the shopping”. He said, somehow with a straight face… “well I do most of the wrapping you know…” WTH?????? (what the heck)
This time of year I write a list of everyone we buy gifts for. Beside each name I write what dollar amount we usually spend and an idea of what to buy. This shopping list will then go everywhere I go. If I leave the house, it’s with me and I keep it up to date, I pour over it, I ponder whether the gifts are perfect, I always know where it is at all times…. and, secretly… shhhh now don’t tell anyone but… I hate the &%$ list 
Truth is, this year I’m secretly refusing to get so hung up on getting everyone (except my kids) the perfect gifts. I’ve learned that gifts that were searched for for 5 straight days can be grunted at just as easily as gifts picked up last minute can be treasured.
So this year I’m saving my sanity and getting the shopping done with as much calmness as possible. Every year I get frantic and stressed and bitchy (pardon my swearing Mom but…) and I miss out on peaceful family time and that mysterious, thus far elusive, “joy of the season”.
THIS YEAR I will do my best to feel it… instead of cursing it while I run through the mall…
THIS YEAR I will enjoy Christmas… i hope…